WTF Carnival #2
You hate yourself? How do you think I feel?!?
I'm in the same boat, but I'm going backwards.
You. . . are a placenta!
1: We're even.
2: I don't think we'll ever be even.
2: Because we're too odd.
2: Say the word 'what.'
2: Say 'what!'
1: Oh. What?
The only thing I love more than food is eating it.
Its not that my jokes aren't funny, you're just ugly.
1. What word has 3 letters in it and starts most sentences?
1. No, the word "the". . . but lets have some candy.
Evil soldiers who die don't go to hell, they become the French.
I hope you're happy. I lost two night's sleep and a daydream over this!
Man 1: Hey man, I’m sorry I crashed into the back of your car.
Man 2: Oh, that’s all right.
Man 1: Hey, you. . . uh. . . you wanna go exchange insurance information?
Man 2: You mean like. . . uh. . . in the back seat of my car?
Man 1: Ya. . . ya. Let’s go . . . uh . . . exchange insurance information in the back seat of your car.
Man 3: Can I come too?
Man 1: Can your back seat fit that many young men wishing to exchange insurance information?
Man 2: The more the merrier.
Man 3: Awesome.
Man 1: Let’s go.
I thought she said sex, but it turned out she said therapy. I guess we do need to work on communication.
1: A contradiction cannot exist in the real world.
2: That both is and isn't true.
1. I have an idea!
2. What is it?
1. Well, I’ll tell you: . . . . It’s a reverse mosh pit.
1. We take these rock stars and toss ‘em into a pit, then we throw a crowd of moshers onto them!
2. That’s just sick.
1. I know, I love it too.
Boy: You know, ya can't spell "make out" without "me" and "u".
Girl: Ah, well, I could say the same thing about "murder".
It's too quite . . . too quite.
It’s not that I’m intolerant, you’re just ugly
I think a fun thing to do would be to go to an aquarium…and poke the fish.
No, seriously. It's like, the fish is swimming along peacefully, and suddenly THIS FINGER COMES FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! And the fish is like, "What the fuck was that?" But then it just keeps swimming and swimming, when suddenly THE FINGER COMES BACK! And the fish is like, "No, seriously, what the fuck was that?" But then it just keeps swimming and swimming.
Oh, and the merry-go-round is fun too.
Don't hate me for who I am, hate me for who I'm not, that way I don't
feel bad about myself.
1: You know, you shouldn't judge people by the food they eat.
1: Yeah, I know some very nice cannibals.
1. Okay, okay. I have a joke
1. Are you ready? It’s mad awesome.
2. Yes yes. Go.
1. Okay. . . okay.
1. Are you sure you’re ready?
1. Totally psyched up?
2. I’m ready.
1. Okay. . . okay. Here it is:
1. . . .
2. . . .
1. . . . RELIGION! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
2. . . .
1. . . .
2. That’s not very funny.
1. Yes your right, I don’t really get it either.
I was hoping to think of something good to end this with, but I have alot of trouble writing good conc