Sunday, October 30, 2005

Zee Quizes

You are 60% evil

You are very evil. You are fairly practical in your evil deeds and you probably wouldn’t do anything illegal. You are more inclined to not do anything when you see that something bad is about to happen. Think Seinfeld.

Take this quiz at

You have a sexual hidden talent

You have a sexual hidden talent. You might not look it but you are a dynamo in bed. Most of your lovers think that it is from years of practice, but really, you were just born with it.

Take this quiz at

Death through drugs/alcohol

You are going to die drowning after drinking too much/doing too many drugs. Dying like all of the greatest rockers – because you live like one. You like to party and experiment with perception. Rock on hippie.

Take this quiz at

Your boss is 55% jerk

Your boss is a big jerk. They are not the worst, but they certainly seem like it at times. Your boss is likely to steal your ideas and pass them off as his/her own and neglect you for promotions. Arg.

Take this quiz at

Yep, that's Prov all right.

Attention Seth:

You hate know-it-alls!

Know-it-alls are your number one pet peeve. They always know everything, and always take pleasure in making you feel stupid. And they always, always make a point of saying something when you screw up something.

Take this quiz at

You have a 80% chance of surviving a T-Rex Attack

You have a very good chance of surviving a T-Rex attack. You are very smart and know how to survive in the wild. You would be first in line if there was ever a real Jurassic Park.

Take this quiz at

You are 86% Psychic

You are super psychic. You should work at the psychic friends network. Because of your observant nature, you are able to see the patterns that people and society have to accurately predict the future. Plus you have an uncanny ability to predict chance encounters. You are good at choosing the right stocks and winning at the casino.

Take this quiz at

Thank you for your time.

Who needs a title when we've got Seth's Blog to steal title ideas from?

When it snowed, I went out and took some pictures. I had this thought of my own accord, and took the pictures with my own (mother's) camera. Enjoy them, because with my dail up it took about 3 hours to load them all.

Thank you for your time.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Goodie Grab Bag #3

So here we are again. Feel free to browse and let my subliminal messages influence your give aeger money mind. Have buy cocacola fun!

1. What's worse than a worm in your apple?
2. Um, half a worm in your apple?
1. No, the holocaust.

Well, you know what they say: so I won't tell you.

1. I kiss this poster twelve times a day
2. You and your silly hormones
1. Hey! leave my hormones out of this

Hello, I am conducting a national survey and I was wondering if I could ask you a question. Yes? Ok then. . . . . . . . . . . . . . How many nipples do you have?

1. I have a girlfriend
2. You have a girlfriend?
1. Yes.
2. Do you keep her chained up in your basement?
1. No.
2. Then how much are you paying her?
1. I'm not paying her anything.
2. Then she's inflatable?
1. How did you guess?

1. My mother just died.
2. Wow, that sucks. Doesn't that just nibble your penis?
1. Yes, yes it does.

Jeffery said "What the hell is wrong with you?" and Kevin replied "Nothing, you asshole." Then it was quiet for a time, and in that infinite silence, somewhere a little rabbit bobbed its head to death metal rock.

Many people these days would just be content to steal Seth's type face and be done with it. I, on the other hand, have to blatantly plagurise a joke he said in his most recent Goodie Grab about how his teacher says he is easily distrac

1. Love thine neighbor as thine lightboard.
2. No, I believe it goes: love thine neighbor as thine beverage container.
1. Sacrilige!

Thank you for your return to this site every day time and enjoy the rest of your spend money on me day!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Help! There's an axe in my head.

First of all, many thanks to Pixel for bringing this to my attention, for without this powerful knowledge, I would certainly be slightly more bored.

It could happen anywhere, anytime. You could be walking around in a forighn country, minding your own buisness, when suddernly an axe suddenly gets stuck in your head. This is a hard situation to tangle yourself out of, especially if you don't speak the native language.

I have taken the liberty of doing several seconds of hard work googling ways to get out of this problem, and I have compiled (copied) a great list of how to say "Oh my God! There's an axe in my head." Never again will you need to waste precious hours attempting to explain to native people your condition, now all there is for you to do is access the internet and go to the October Archive of this, scroll through all of the posts I've written during this month, and then find the language you want in this post.


# Afrikaans: O God! Daar's 'n byl in my kop!
# AlbanianA1: O Zot! Kam sakice ne koke!
# Alsatian: Lever Gott! Es esch a Axe en miner Kopf!
# AmharicA2: Fetariye! Metrebiya bechinklatie wusit ale.
Oh my God! there's an axe in my Amharic head.
# ApeA3: Kree-gur! arad zor wo b'yat
# ArabicA4: Ya Allah! Be fass bi rassi!
# Aragonese, HighA5: Ai ridiós! Tiengo una estral en o tozuelo.
# Assyrian: iliya pashum ina reshimi bashu
# AymaraA6: Iyaw! Mä hachax p'iqijankiwa.

# Babylonian: iliya pashu ina reshiya bashu
# Bahasa Melayu (Malay)B1: Ya tuhanku! Ada kapak dalam kepalaku!
# BahasanB2: O: mie Adonae, estil un acso en mie capito ho!
# BaselangB3: "Won suripiria nemia voci 'wonden divin'. Un chafergarbar i conboro wonden siras posi."
# BasqueB4: Jaungoikoa! Badut aizkor bat buruan!
# BelarusianB5: Bozha moj, ja maju siakeru w halavie
# Bengali: Oh Allah! Amar mathar upor bash poreche.
# Bosnian: Boze moj! sjekira mi je u glavi.
# BretonB6: Ma Doue! Bez' ez eus ur vouc'hal e va fenn.
# BulgarianB7: Bozhe moi, niakoi mi e zabil bradva v glavata!

# CantoneseC1:
Oh my God! there's an axe in my Cantonese head.
# CatalanC2: Déu meu! Tinc una destral al cap.
# CelticB5, C3, I4: Mo Dhia! Ta' tua sa mo cheann.
# Cree (Dialect N)C4: Aah n'kiseemantoom, Ciikahikan asteew nistikwaanihk.
# CzechA4: Pane boze! Mam sekeru v hlave!

# DanishD1: Åh Gud! Jeg har en økse i hovedet.
# Dutch: O, mijn God! Er zit een bijl in mijn hoofd.

# Egyptian, Ancient (Middle Kingdom)E1: in Amun! iw minb m tp-i!
# Elet AntaE2: Ha inyano! Oan kascac inye cufanvay!
# EmoticonE3: k:-O
# English, OldE4: Wa min God! Se æx on min heafod is!
# Esperanto: Mia Dio! Hakilo estas en mia kapo!
# EstonianC3: Oh mu Jumal, mul on kirves peas

# FaroeseF1: Á Gud! Ta er ein øks í høvdinum hjá mær!
# FarsiC3: Oh! Khodayeh Man! Yek Tabar tooyeh saram rafteh!
# FinnishF2: Voi Luoja! Päässäni on kirves!
# FlemishF3: Godverdoeme, d'er zit een bijl in mijnen kop.
# Flemish (Ostend Dialect)F4: Godverdikke! Ken a kapmes in me kop.
# Flemish (West Flanders Dialect)F5: Hodver! Kee n bille in min pleite.
# Flemish (West-Vloams Dialect)F6: Oh uzzen lievn hérè! Ken e bille in mi mulle.
# FrenchF7: Oh mon dieu ! Il y a une hache dans ma tête.

# GermanG1: O mein Gott! Es gibt ein axt im meine kopf.
# German (Carinthian dialect)G2:
Um Goddes wuell, do is a hackale im meim schaedahle.
# German (Styrian dialect)G2:
Jessas, i hab a hockn im schaedel.
# German (Upper Austrian dialect)G3:
Hümmi, Orsch und Zwirn! Do steckt a Hocka in meina Birn.
# German (Vorarlbergerisch; West Austrian dialect)G4:
Hargoläss, do ischt an agscht i minoem griand!
# Goa'uldG5: Yo me Weiafei! Te monba im tap-ei.
# Greek, AncientG6: O Thee! Echo ten labrida en te mou kephale!
# Greek, ModernG6: The'Mou! Eho ena tsekouri sto kefali mou!
# GujaratiA4: Aare Bhaghwan! Mara matha ma ek kuladi chhe.
# GullahG7: Me Gawd! Dey en' ax een me haid!

# HausanH1: Kai! Ina da bambaro ciken kaina!
# HebrewH2: Oh Ellohim! Yesh li garzen ba-rosh.
# Hindi: Hay Bhagwaan! Mere sar mein kulhaadi hain.
# HungarianH3: Jaj Istenem, fejsze van a fejemben!
# HutteseH4: Tcheesa watichika bo! Ava pi killee krusp da ma green.

# Icelandic: Gud minn godur! Thad er o:xi i ho:fdinu a mer.
# IdoI1: Ho! Mea Deo. Hakilo esas en mea kapo.
# Ilythiiri (Drow)I2: Ussta Quarval-sharess! Gaer zhah velve wun ussta karliik!
# IndonesianA4: Ya Allah, dikepalaku ada kapak.
# Inuktitut (Greenlandic)I3: Åh gootinga! Niaquniipuq ulimaat.
# Irish, ModernI4: Ó mo Dhia! Tá tua i mo cheann!
# Irish, OldI5: A mo dé! Táthum túag im chenn-sa.
# Italian: Dio mio! C'e' un' ascia nella mia testa!
# Italian (Trieste dialect)I6: Co dio! xe na mannera nella mia testa

# Japanese: ahh, kamisama! watashi no atama ni ono ga arimasu.

# KlingonK1: toH, HIvqa' Qun'a'wIj! nachwIjDaq 'obmaQ tu'lu'!
# KoreanC2: aigo, OtchOna! nae daegarie tokkiga pakhyO inne!
# KyrgyzK2: Oh Kuday! Bashimda balta bar!

# Latin: Deus Meus! Securis in capite meo est.
# Latvian: Ak Dievs! Man ir cirvis galva!
# LithuanianC3: Dieve mano, turiu kirvi galvoje!

# MacedonianM1: O, Gospodi! Imam sekira vo glavata.
Oh my God! there's an axe in my Macedonian head.
# MalayalamM2: Entey Deiwame, entey thalayil oru kodali undei.
# MalteseM3: Alla tieghi, ghandi mannara f'rasi
Alla tieghi, hemm mannara gewwa rasi
# MandarinC3: Wode tian a! You yi ba futou cha zai wode naodai li!
# Manx (Gaelg)M4: Shee bannee mee! Shen vel teigh syns mee ard-chione.
# MaoriM5: Aue Te Ariki! He toki ki roto taku mahuna!
# Marathi: Aray Devaa! Majhyaa dokyaat kurhaad aahay.

# Norse, AncientN1: Haurheghaud, ijh hehe einght aghsethe hjij haafhohuhede!
# Norwegian (Bokmål dialect; "Book Tongue")N2:
Herre Gud, jeg har fått en øks i hodet.
Herregud! Jeg har en øks i hodet.
# Norwegian, New (Nynorsk dialect)N2:
Herregud! Eg har ein øks i hovudet.
Herre Gud, eg har fått ei øks i hovudet mitt.

# Polish: O Moj Boze! Mam siekiere w glowie!
# Portuguese: Meu Deus! Tenho um machado na cabeca!

# QuenyaQ1: A Ilúvatarinya! En ná pelecco cárinyesse.
O Erunya! En ná i pelecco mi nya cár.

# RomanianR1: Dumnezeule! Este un topor in capul meu!
# RussianK1, R2, E1: Gospodi! Topor u moye golovye!
Bozhe moy, u meenya tapor v golove!

# SámiS1: Vuoi Ipmilahcci! Mus han leat aksu oaivvis
# SanskritS2: He mama deva! Asti mama murdhni parasuh!
# Serbo-CroatianC3: Boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi.
# Scots GaelicB5, C3, I4: Och, mo Dhia, 's e tuagh a tha sa' mo cheann.
# SinhalaS3: Ane Deviyane! Mage oluwe porawak thiyanawa
# SlovakA4: Pane boze! Mam sekeru v hlave!
# Slovenian: Moj Bog! Sekiro imam v glavi.
# SpanishS4: ¡Dios mio! ¡Hay un hacha en mi cabeza!
# Srana (Surinamese)S5: Tjé mi gado! Mi ab' wang aksi na ini mi édé!
# Swahili: Siyo! (Huko) Shoka yangu kichwanil!
# SwedishS6: Oh, Herregud! Jag har en yxa i huvudet!

# Tagalog: Ay Dios ko! May palakol sa ulo ko!
# TamilA4: Ada kadavule! En thalaiyil oru kodali irrukku!
# TeleguC3: Ore devudo! Naa thala lo goddali undhi
# TurkishT1: Aman Tanrim; Kafama saplanmis bir balta var.

# UkranianB5: Bozhe mij, ja maju sokyru v holovi
# UrduU1: Au Mere Allah Mere Sur Me Kulahri Hai

# Vietnamese (North Dialect)A4: Oi gioi oi! Cai bu'a no bo vao dau toi!
# Vietnamese (Central Dialect)A4: Oi troi phat oi! Cai rua chem vo dau tui!
# Vietnamese (South Dialect)A4: Chu'a toi oi! Cai rua chat be dau tao!
# Visigothic: Meina guth, Ikgastaldan aqizi-wunds meina haubida
# VolapükV1: O God obik! Binon lecüd in kap obik.

# Wallon (Belgian dialectical French– phonetic)W1: Nom dé dju, y a èn hache din m' tièt
# WelshB6: A Dduw! Mae bywell yn fy mhen i!

# YiddishY1: gotenyu! s'iz do a hak in kop!

# Zau Ta-folin (Sauron's Black Speech of Mordor)Z1:
Afar Lugbúrz! at sapat kok-ishi.
Afar vadokanuk, At sapat kok-ishi!
# ZuluZ2: Awu nkosi yami kunembhazo ekh

A Test

I recently took a test on where I'm going to be in Dante's Inferno. I've read the book once or twice, and I like it alot, so I was very interested to see where I'd end up. What's very interesting to me is that in the chart there's no way to go to heaven. Well, I suppose that's God's plan for us all, eh?

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Cool? Freezing.

My friend recently got one of those neat camera phone dealies, and we went out and took some pictures. They are really quail, and it amazes me that they were taken with something like a phone. And the neatest part is, these were emailed to me, from the phone! The marvels modern technology can provide us with. . .

See? I'm levitating it.

:wink: you know you love it.

This one is like one of those old DBZ episodes, I love it!

Ok, I'm done now, I just had to show everybody. Back to proffesional journalism and real opinions. Thank you for your time.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Thank You

My statcounter just informed me that I have finally passed 1000 hits. I just wanted to thank all of you for coming and checking out what I have to say. I originally started this blog with no intention of talking to an actual audience. Since then, what with me entering the atheist blogosphere and all, I have found a happieness on the web that I never thought could exist. So, thank you all again for staying with me and I look forward to posting for many years to come.

I have nothing witty to say.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Goodie Grab Bag #2

Here's number two in the epic series Goodie Grab Bag about a boy lost in a supermarket with no way out, and with evil grandparents closing in, blocking off every door with candy cane bars. . . no, wait, wrong script.

1. Hey, kid, you wanna look at my bible?
2. Not really. . .
1. Aw, cumon, it's really big.
2. I really don't think. . . WHOA!

And in one of the largest advertising agreements of all time, the well known Niagra Falls has been renamed Viagra Falls. This controversial move was made becuase, according to Jacky Knoff, CEO of Viagra Corp., she felt it would be really neat.

Chris: Why didn't you do your homework last night?
Seth: I had other things to do last night.

Life in Latin:

YOU: Tu Mater! (your mom!)
FRIENDS: oooooooh.
FRIEND: Um. . .
YOU: Tu aspicere! (your face!)
FRIENDS: buuuuurrrrrrrrnnnnn.
YOU: Parum honorifice et dimittere! (dissed and dismissed!)
FRIEND: ouch.

Well, you know what they say: it's better to toss your spear at the stars and hit the ground than it is to throw a pipe bomb at a cat, and hit your uncles Winnebago.

And remember kids, you don't need drugs to enjoy life, you need drugs to enhance life.