Tuesday, December 27, 2005

A Departure From Christmas

Well, hello again to everyone who thought I have been dead for the past few weeks. I've wanted to post, but the right words never came, plus I've had Pneumonia, so when the words did come they were drowned out by coughing. Or as the professionals call it: "blah blah blah" (I had Pneumonia when they told me). So, here I am again to talk to you about Christmas.

I got on a plane, went to Texas, and on my way I saw it again. I wrote about this over the summer, but sense no one knew who the hell I was over the summer, I suppose I shall just start the beginning.

Airport. Baggage Checking (yes, they checked my bag, they always do. they ALWAYS look at the books, I guess they think they're the anarchists cookbooks or something). And the X-ray machine for my bag. As the bag came flying from the machine, through the rubber strips that hid the inside, I saw it. You've seen it too. I know you have, everyone has. I saw a hand pushing the bag out. It was just for a split second, but I saw it. My mother didn't believe me. BUT I SAW IT.

So I get to Texas, land of the wild, free-range republicans, on Christmas Eve, and promptly go to sleep. When I wake up I find the Christmas presents. I eat the chocolate in the stocking and start opening.

The list:
-The Monty Python Calender
-The Monty Python Autobiography
-Lost First Season, and
-the original King Kong

I was happy with it. I had forgotten about CHristmas, and I honestly didn't care much, what with my recent departure from the belief system behind the holiday. It seems that as I get older, I start to forget about these simple celebrations. My birthday, for example. On the day of my birthday, I remembered that it was, I normally have some form of celebration, very rarely big, usually just a few friends. But I didn't say anything about it, and it just went away. It's kind of depressing. I'm gonna go turn up the airconditioning, turn down the lights and listen to "Wake Me Up WHne September Ends" now, I'll see ya'll when I emerge.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

You Too?

Until last Monday I had no idea what U2 was. I had heard some stuff about the band, very vague stuff, and I had seen part of that iPod commercial that features Original of the Species on an iPod. Besides that, I was utterly ignorant. Adam had tickets to a concert to their concert at the Bank North Garden (thank bob it's not the "Fleet Center" anymore, ug) and, in his ADD way, he told me in a way similar to this:

ADAM: So we can work on filming the skit sometime next week?
ME: Ya, sure.
ADAM: Alright.
ME: Ok then.
ADAM: . . .
ME: . . .
ADAM: . . . You wanna go to a U2 concert on Monday?

So, I had no idea what I was in store for. I arrived at the center early, because we had unsuccesfully tried to have a leisurely dinner before hand, and met the crowds. Adam's mother and her. . . sister? went off to their side of the stadium, and we off to ours. Of course we had the worst seats. When I say back, I mean as high as you can go, up against the concrete wall with the seats below you about 6 inches away and 1 foot down. But soon the lights went out and I sat back to watch my first glimpse of U2.

Soon they came out onto the stage. The stage was, Adam informed me, formed in the shape of U2's signature, the circle inside of another circle, and that was on the end of a long oval that stretched from one end of the court (for this is also a playing court for the Celtics) to the other. Inside the oval but not on the stage was an area called the Ellipse, where about one hundred lucky fans scremed wildly.

The first up was the lead singer, a blonde man in his late twenties, I would guess, followed by one guitarist and a drum player. And they began to play. And it wasn't very good. In fact, it was rather crappy. Those of you who don't know who U2 are are probably nodding your heads right now saying "Yep, yep, that's U2 alright." Those of you who do know U2 are probably shaking your heads and saying "Bono isn't blonde. And U2 is one damn good band." That's correct, for I had mistaken the sideshow band for U2. The sideshow played for about 45 minutes, and then got off the stage to the dripping sound of golf-applause. There was a half hour intermission, and then the show began.

The first song was "City of Blinding Lights". The first band member on stage was the drummer, whose name I did not know at the time, but whose name I have sense guessed (just guessed. . . GUESSED. Correct me if I am wrong, which I probably am) to be Larry (???????????????). Next up was Mitch (?????????????) and then The Edge. And they began to play.

A quick strumming filled the stadium, I was right near the speakers, 3 times my hieght and at least 8 feet in width. Slowly a yellow light filled the stadium, and Bono's voice also filtered into my ears, but where was he? I turned my head around, and saw him at the other end of the Ellipse. I don't know how he got there, probably a secret door, but I do know that no one else had noticed it until then, he had just walked up.

"Cit of Blinding Lights" was followed by "Vertigo" and then "Excavation" (that's all I remember, unlike Seth, I do not write down the song list of every concert I go to).

I was blown away. I don't know how I'm going to pay my iTunes bill for this month, and the Library late fees for the U2 CD's I took out are going to cost a fortune. In short, I'm a fan.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

WTF Carnival #2

Well, here we are again, the Wow, That's Funny Carnival #2. The same people are here, mainly Me, Myself, and I. Oh, and then there's Seth, Pixel, and the newbie Adam. Replacing me as the newbie to the Goodie Grab Bag assembly, he should be picked on extra hard. I especially recomend pushing him into walls as often as possible to express your appreciation of his quips. This is coming to you on the 1'st of December, I don't care what day it actually is coming to you on, I'll be busy tomorrow which is why I'm posting today, just don't tell anyone. As always, we vote on the quips we like the most. There hasn't been a limit imposed in the past on how many you can vote on, which I find to be the epitome of stupidy, so I'm making a limit. The limit is 2 to be counted. And we actually are going to count them this month, so take that Bush Administration. Obviously you can say if you like any others in the comments, but please specify your two votes by saying the letters above the quips. So come on in. Yep, that's right, you and you, get on in there. No no, not you. Well, maybe you. Ok, fine, all of you can come in, just don't steal anything. People these days.


You hate yourself? How do you think I feel?!?


I'm in the same boat, but I'm going backwards.


You. . . are a placenta!


1: We're even.
2: I don't think we'll ever be even.
1: Why?
2: Because we're too odd.


2: Say the word 'what.'
1: What?
2: Say 'what!'
1: Oh. What?
2: Thanks.


The only thing I love more than food is eating it.


Its not that my jokes aren't funny, you're just ugly.


1. What word has 3 letters in it and starts most sentences?
2. Sex?
1. No, the word "the". . . but lets have some candy.


Evil soldiers who die don't go to hell, they become the French.


I hope you're happy. I lost two night's sleep and a daydream over this!


Man 1: Hey man, I’m sorry I crashed into the back of your car.

Man 2: Oh, that’s all right.
Man 1: Hey, you. . . uh. . . you wanna go exchange insurance information?
Man 2: You mean like. . . uh. . . in the back seat of my car?
Man 1: Ya. . . ya. Let’s go . . . uh . . . exchange insurance information in the back seat of your car.
Man 3: Can I come too?
Man 1: Can your back seat fit that many young men wishing to exchange insurance information?
Man 2: The more the merrier.
Man 3: Awesome.
Man 1: Let’s go.


I thought she said sex, but it turned out she said therapy. I guess we do need to work on communication.


1: A contradiction cannot exist in the real world.

: That both is and isn't true.


1. I have an idea!
2. What is it?
1. Well, I’ll tell you: . . . . It’s a reverse mosh pit.
2. What?
1. We take these rock stars and toss ‘em into a pit, then we throw a crowd of moshers onto them!
2. That’s just sick.
1. I know, I love it too.


Boy: You know, ya can't spell "make out" without "me" and "u".
Girl: Ah, well, I could say the same thing about "murder".


It's too quite . . . too quite.


It’s not that I’m intolerant, you’re just ugly


I think a fun thing to do would be to go to an aquarium…and poke the fish.
No, seriously. It's like, the fish is swimming along peacefully, and suddenly THIS FINGER COMES FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! And the fish is like, "What the fuck was that?" But then it just keeps swimming and swimming, when suddenly THE FINGER COMES BACK! And the fish is like, "No, seriously, what the fuck was that?" But then it just keeps swimming and swimming.
Oh, and the merry-go-round is fun too.


Don't hate me for who I am, hate me for who I'm not, that way I don't
feel bad about myself.


1: You know, you shouldn't judge people by the food they eat.
2: Oh?
1: Yeah, I know some very nice cannibals.


1. Okay, okay. I have a joke
2. Alrighty.
1. Are you ready? It’s mad awesome.
2. Yes yes. Go.
1. Okay. . . okay.
2. Yes?
1. Are you sure you’re ready?
2. Yes.
1. Totally psyched up?
2. I’m ready.
1. Okay. . . okay. Here it is:
2. Yes?
1. . . .
2. . . .

2. . . .
1. . . .
2. That’s not very funny.
1. Yes your right, I don’t really get it either.

I was hoping to think of something good to end this with, but I have alot of trouble writing good conc

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Got Color?

The colorquiz is a widely appreciated personality test. Based upon about a decade of psychological study, it attains a persons personality from what their favorite colors are. It didn't really work very well for me. I mean, most of it is right, but there are a few complete surprises. Enjoy yet another quiz, and put that shotgun away, I promise I'll actually write something soon.

ColorQuiz.comAeger took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of exp..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

WHOA . . . Another Quiz

I know I know I know. It's just that whenever I think of anything meaningful to write I'm behind on my KoH posts.

But anyhwo, here's another deep inside look into my mind:

Your Blog Should Be Green

Your blog is smart and thoughtful - not a lot of fluff.
You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas.
However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog.

or not, either or.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Friendship: Catalogued

Some recent posts over at Pixel's website have got me thinking about friendship, and more importantly, different kinds of friendship.

So, drawing from his input, and with a few ideas of my own, I have endeavored to create a complete list of friendship.

Starting from the ground up:

Byte Sized Friendships: People who you know by name, but not by number, address, facial features, voice, or name.

Acquaintance: People who you may know through school, business, or other mandatory things, but wouldn't otherwise talk to.

Friendly acquaintance: People who you may know through school, business, or other mandatory things, and have gotten together with infrequently.

Friends: People you enjoy talking to, and speak with regularly, but with whom you only meet outside of school, work, etc. infrequesntly.

Good Friends: People who you have a bond with and who you spend at least one day a week with.

Best Friends: People who you have a deep bond with, who know you well enough to finish your sentences, who can tell you anything, and you them, and who, if you got yourself into trouble, would gladly bail you out of jail.

True Friends: People that you have a permanent deep, lasting relationship with, who you almost love, and who, if you got into trouble, would be sitting next to you in the jail cell. (Usually there can only be four of these types of friendships per person, becuase anything more overloads the circuits and cuases said person to reboot).

Well, there you are. There are a few more catagories, yes. But if I got into them I would have to think, and you don't want that.

Thank you for your time.